Kitty’s Place

It has been a busy week in Märsta. They are the host city for O-Ringen 2001. Yes, I said O-Ringen. *smile*

When I turned the calendar page to July there it was, O-Ringen, listed for a whole week at the end of the month. I asked in passing what it was and got the normal response from my SO .. “well it is o-ringen” (the duh was implied *laugh*). I forgot about it. Then during the heat wave a couple weeks ago his mom mentioned it. She said it was a “sport thing”. So I was thinking it was some little local competition, like track and field events. HA!! How wrong that was.

We came from picking up groceries last night and as we crested the hill and looked into our area of the city, all I could see was cars and trailers. There must be at least 2000 house trailers and tents in the fields around the gula skolen (adult education centre) and the local gymnasium (high school). There is a wooden entrance gate across the main road and crossing guards are installed there to stop traffic as people who could not camp out on the event centre side of the road cross from one of the two fields that are also filled with trailers and tents. This is definitely not some local thing.

So my quest continued. Just what is this o-ringen anyway? Last evening my SO’s family popped in just to say hi and good night to the kidlet. They were walking back from checking out the Event centre by the schools. I asked his uncle this time and finally got an answer I could work with. It is a competition where people run in the woods with maps and compasses. Now it was starting to make sense.

Online I went and began reading about the sport of “orienteering”. It is an endurance sport where you run over rough terrain, (open fields, hills and forests). There is no marked route and you must use your map and compass to guide you to the end of the coarse while on the move. There are control points along the route that you must stop at and have a card stamped, to show you did the entire course and in the right order. People who compete seriously in this sport need to be as fit as a marathon runner to be able to get through the competition.

So now I understand what o-ringen is. Also I now see why there has been an increase in the numbers of people traversing the walking paths here over the past couple of weeks. It has been interesting to see so many new faces out and about and exciting to see all the activity in the camping areas.

What is the next surprise Sweden will spring on me? *laugh*

Ok, which one of you, sister, brothers, nieces or nephews is reading this journal this week?

Whoever it may be, I am looking for two recipes. Grandma G’s shortbread and mom’s (nana’s) recipe for oatmeal raisin cookies. If anyone has these, please please email them. I am missing the tastes of treats from home and those two are at the top of the list. *grin*

Here we are at the middle of another week. I have not had much to say as it has been a quiet week.

Saturday I woke with chest pain. This is because something in the air has caused a flare up of my asthma. The pain comes from using auxilliary muscles when I have trouble breathing. These muscles are not used to being used and complain. *laugh* I have my Ventolin but need to see a doctor here to get something equivalent to Beclovent. My appointment is next Monday. Until then I am sticking close to home as the pain is still with me.

We were supposed to go to the zoo Sunday but since I was feeling punk, we sent the kidlet along with his aunt and grandparents. He had a wonderful time and came home with a wealth of stories. Most of them were “farfar babble babble babble farfar” and similar things. He did show us with arm motions that he drove a car though. Apparently he was on a kiddie car ride.

I spoke on the phone to my grandparents on the weekend. My gram still cries when I have to hang up. You would think after 16 months away she would not miss us so much but we are and always have been a closeknit family. I grew up across the street from them and our lives have been closely intertwined. Then when I had the kidlet I was again living across the street and spent a part of most every day there for a year. So he is just as much a part of that interwoven fabric of love.

Another weekend treat was talking to my brother on MSN. I have the program on my computer to keep in touch with my nieces and nephews. So when he said hi, I thought it was my niece. We had a wonderful chat and he mentioned that they were getting ready to send out a parcel to us. That will be something to anticipate! While I typed up a storm here, my last batch of chocolate chip cookies burned in the oven. So that was a reminder that I was out of chocolate chips … there will be some in the package. *laugh* I never said I was good at this housewifey stuff.

Last night we went to my SO’s uncle’s for cake. It was his birthday. I had no idea, but now it is in my daytimer and next year I will not be caught cardless. They love the kidlet to bits and I think they will be wonderful parents if they decide to have a child.

The place is a mess and I feel guilty. I find though that if I do more than a few dishes or make up the beds and pick up, I start to wheeze and hurt. So am just doing a bit a time. Unfortunately, the kidlet does not mess at that pace. *grin* It will get done eventually though and as long as we can wade through and have dishes to eat off and clean clothes to wear, the untidiness won’t kill us.

Life in Svealand.

This is the complex where we live. It is an older area and has lots of green space.

Our kitchen at christmas time. The step candles in the window are seen in most homes in Sweden at this time of year.

The “before trimming” christmas tree picture. Sadly I forgot to take an after one. *laugh*

The view from our living room window. We have a family of hares that live in the woods and they are a delight to watch.

Drying cupboards are common here in Sweden, something I had never seen in Canada.

A view of the drying cupboard after hanging up the clothes.

The kidlets bed. It is extendible and has two mattress inserts to add as we pull out the end to make it longer.

I really don’t understand what is happening to me. I am having anxiety attacks over silly things and they are becoming more frequent. Of course I am a basically shy person but that has never stopped me from picking up and going where I want when I want.

I was supposed to go out last evening. It was to join a group of woman for pizza. Most of them I know from online forums, some I have corresponded with by regular mail and one of them I have been out with before and have had to my home. So this wasn’t strangers in a true sense of the word. I had been looking forward to it for days. The kidlet went to his grandparents, Ibo was actually positive about me going out for a change. So why in the world did I get into a panic in the late afternoon and not actually make it?

It was a full blown anxiety attack. Flared up my asthma, cold sweat, shaking. The idea of actually going out the door and getting on the bus made me feel ill. If I could understand why then I could fight this.

This has been going on for a couple months now. If I have to go anywhere where there is a crowd or people who are not family, I get scared. If I am with Ibo it is bearable because I won’t be by myself. This isn’t just social situations. The last 2 weeks of öppna förskolan it took everything in me to walk that few hundred feet there and interact with the people. This is people I have been seeing on a daily basis for a year. Some days I can’t get out the door to go to the grocery store. I can go out, we go out and walk every day, rain or shine. I can do things like laundry and window shop at the centrum. It is just the interacting part that is stressing me.

Part of it might be the language thing. I hate not being fluent in swedish. Of course I never will be if I don’t get out more and use it. Part of it might be some kind of reaction to losing my dad. Part of it might be a hormonal thing since I am at an age where those kind of changes do occur. I can think up might be’s all day. It doesn’t change what is happening.

Have tried to talk to Ibo about this. But he is one of those who just keeps saying “why” to every statement and I get frustrated because “why” is the unknown here. He is getting frustrated over this too and he doesn’t know the half of it. Just the incidents where he sees that I did not do something that was in my plans for the day and he is affected.

There is such pleasure in anticipating things. I just finished reading ‘I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings’ by Maya Angelou. It was well written and kept my attention throughout. Since I already had my next book picked out, that is quite a feat. Then again, while I am anticipating enjoying the new book, I do have some reservations.

Next is ‘Fem Tillsammans Igen’ (Five Together Again) by Enid Blyton. As a fan of the Famous Five series it is very inviting to be revisiting a series I grew up with. Reading it in swedish is the part I am not so sure about. This is the third one I am attempting to work through in swedish. It seems to take so long to read these little 100 or so page books since I am used to reading twice that much a day in english books. But I persevere, first because I really do love these stories and secondly, I need to learn this language and anything that helps with that is worth the effort. Besides, I will pick out the next book (maybe a reread of ‘And Ladies of the Club ..’) while wending my way through this one and then have something else to anticipate.

At last I have made it back to posting here.

It was a hot, humid weekend. We had dinner at farmor and farfars on Saturday, barbecued ham steak, barbecued salmon steaks, grilled veggies and baked turkey ribs. It was so hot I was a bit reluctant to see the turkey go into the oven, but since I had never seen them before and was unsure about cooking times on an open barbecue, it had to be oven. We went over early in the afternoon so the kidlet could play in the pool and there was a thunderstorm. It provided some temporary relief from the heat but within an hour the temperature had climbed back to 33 C.

Sunday I went to work. It was my first day doing my new job on my own. I think everyone was sure I would not be able to manage the alarm system, even after I explained it was the same system I had when I owned the business in Canada. My SO decided on his own to take me there the first time. Since I had no idea how to drive there ( can however get there fine by transit), he got directions. He handed me a paper to read and then we got lost. It was in the mid 30’s, no a/c in the car and we were both cranky. So we got into a heated discussion (no pun intended *laugh*) and came home. I was so angry I voiced something I have been thinking about for weeks. I want to go home. After more arguing we finally looked at another map and went out again. This time we got there no problem, I did manage the alarm system fine and got a call Monday morning saying things looked good and there were no complaints. So I am officially a once a week cleaning woman.

Monday we had to get up at 4:30 am, since my SO was catching an early flight to Denmark for the day. This was his week to travel for work. After seeing him off and doing the normal morning routine (kidlet breakfast, bathing kidlet, walking dog, cleaning litter box and feeding assorted pets), the little one and I went to his grandparents. It was a fun day in his pool and he especially loved soaking mom with the water pistols. We came home at dinner time and since LL had been munching all afternoon we decided to have dinner with dad when he got back from Denmark.

Tuesday my SO went into work in the morning and then from there caught a plane to Norway for an overnight trip. We (LL and I) had plans to meet up with friends, a woman from the US and her 4 year old. While we were on the bus to the train station it began to rain. Not a soft summer shower, huge, hard clumps of rain. It was delightful! There was thunder and lightning and it lasted most of the day. Besides providing much needed water to plants, it dropped the temperature by a good 10 C. We went shopping and then had lunch. Things were fun until bedtime rolled around and suddenly the kidlet realized his dad was not there for a hug and kiss. As we were having a bedtime battle of wills, my SO called from Norway and spoke with his stubborn son. *laugh* LL was thrilled to talk to dad on the phone but still did not settle until almost 11 pm.

Wednesday was cool and clear and I turned it into cleaning day. There was lovely wind running through the trees and I opened every window and the balcony door to let the fresh air in and hear that whispering sound that pines make on a windy day. It was also a great wind for blowing bubbles and watching them dance away. When my SO got home in the evening he brought home enough candy for 5 kids, so the kidlet was in a state of ecstasy.

Which brings us to today and the other thing I mentioned earlier. I am homesick. I know I just spent 4 weeks in Canada in April and that while I was there I was homesick for Sweden. So it isn’t that I have not been there for a long time or that I don’t like it here.

It is that I miss being in a place where people speak my language. A place where I can get up on Saturday morning and go to market and buy fresh produce at prices reasonable enough to make it feasible to make my own jam and pickles. I miss fresh corn on the cob and peaches from little roadside stalls at the end of the driveway of country farms. This will pass. It isn’t the first time and won’t be the
last.

I knew when I came here that I would miss certain things and that I was forfeiting my place as older sister/family nurse person. But it is likely always going to be difficult to be this far away when family members are ill or hurting. The language thing is hard to deal with. Selfishly, I also miss my “things”. I think to myself, “Oh, now where is that picture?” and then remember it is in storage in Canada. Until we get a house it is unlikely I will see any of the things I have stored and the house thing will be a while in coming since we have only one income. Still I miss being able to open a cupboard and find the bowl I want or the candle sticks.

There, now that I have whined some, I don’t feel any better *smile*. But I have voiced what has been spinning in my head for days. Maybe now it will spin out of mind for a while.

It remains in the low 30’s here (90ish in Fahrenheit). Yesterday and today we went to farmor’s and the kidlet splashed around in the kiddie pool they bought for him last summer.

Yesterday we walked through the woods and and stopped to admire butterflies and ants. *smile*

Today though we walked a different way there and as we were passing a stand of pines I had a sudden flash of childhood. The smell from the hot pine forest brought back memories of hot and hazy summer days when we would camp from the time school closed until just before we went back. I hadn’t thought much about it lately, but suddenly I could hear children’s laughter in my head and it made me smile. It was a happy memory.

We are having a heat wave here. The past three days the temperature has been over 30C. I don’t think that swedes care for this weather. *laugh* At least I have had heard much growling about it. I personally am enjoying it, although I have been staying fairly close to home. This is not weather to be going on long walks with a kidlet.

We went computer shopping last weekend. Picked out a great new system. However they really were not very professional and dealing with them left a bad feeling. They called a couple days later and wanted to change the agreement. So we decided to keep on looking. Today we went to another store, closer to home. The feel of the place was so completely different. We ordered a better system for 100 crowns more than the first one we looked at. We should pick it up on Friday and I must admit I am excited.

Looking at computers boggled my mind. It made me remember when I bought my first computer in 1996. It was a 386 with 8 megs RAM and a 40 meg hard drive. It was such a wonderful system and I thought it would be with me for many years. Now we are looking at things like 1.2 gigahertz systems with 256 RAM and 40 Gb hard drives. Obviously I was wrong about the many years things. *laugh*

The kidlet is getting so stubborn. When he crosses his arms over his chest and yells “nej mamma”, I have to turn and hide my laughter. He is speaking in three and four word sentences now. Sometimes english, more often swedish and occasionally he mixes the languages. His comprehensive of both languages is growing at an amazing speed. He responds appropriately to us, other family members and strangers in the complex and stores, who speak to him. My favourite time of the day is bedtime when we have story time. We read to him of course, but now he reads to us as well. It is so sweet to watch him looking at the words and running his fingers along the pages as he babbles out a totally incomprehensible story, with little giggles and laughs peppered throughout.