Kitty’s Place

It was a busy few days.

Friday afternoon I went back to school at 1430 and the kids had cupcakes and ice cream. They sang both Happy Birthday (which they had practiced earlier with the teacher) and Ja, må du leva (Which I probably said wrong). I came home about 1500 and my fellow asked when I was going back. He came home early from work and we both picked the kidlet up at 1600. LL has been asking for a while if dad could come and get him from school, since some of the other kids have their fathers picking them up, so he was really excited to see Ibo there. We had fajitas for dinner and after the kidlet went to bed I wrapped gifts.

Saturday morning I was up first. The kidlet tripped out of bed around 0900 and I said Happy Birthday to him. He informed me that it was not really his birthday until he had his party and opened his presents. *laugh* We did let him open one gift, the balloon pump but he had to wait for the others. I had put them on the kitchen table and they were in Ibo’s spot, so when he got up, he said that obviously they were his gifts. The kidlet was quick to point out his dad was wrong. *laugh* Guest began arriving around 1700. We had farfar, Jonas, Tina, Alexandra, Rikard, Lisa and Jacob here. When I was in to see Lisa on Thursday she said she would love to come to the party so we invited her. Llywellyn was thrilled there was going to be another kid there even though he hadn’t seen Jacob for well over a year. Dinner was fun, kräftor, salad, bread and cheese. Then there was cake, cupcakes and ice cream. I looked everywhere for a “5″ candle but ended up with candles that looked like crayons. The kidlet got lots of fun gifts. Inventory for future reference: rain suit, knapsack and a mug with his name and picture on it from his his grandparents and aunt (farfar had the mug done in Egypt when he had the t-shirts with the kidlet’s picture and name on them done). A clown costume, face paint and a whoopee cushion from J & T (needless to say the whoopee cushion was a major hit at age 5 … I hear it numerous times a day *laugh*) A Winnie the Pooh puzzle and one of those giant bubble makers (the kind with a piece of wool on a riding crop looking item) from L & J. From us there was a Brio remote control train, 100 piece wooden train set, battery charger and batteries, 25 piece road sign set, balloon pump and balloons, Leap Pad and the Coke carrying case we got at Gray’s on Thursday. Thomas the Tank Engine Leap Pad book from Uncle Eric and family in Canada. Pistols, belt and sheriff badge from David. Finger puppets and stuffed ladybug from Meaghan.

The kidlet was late to bed, so we had a late start to work on Sunday. We bypassed Central Station and got to work in record time. He played with his Leap Pad all the time I cleaned and then we made record time home. When we got home Alexandra and Rikard were here so LL got to play with all his new toys with his aunt and cousin (as in 2nd cousin). They stayed for dinner, a quick meal of fish sticks and potatismos (instant mashed potatoes), sauteed veggies, salad and leftover crayfish.

Monday there was no school. The kidlet got dressed early and then got his Leap Pad and said he was going to work with pappa and he was taking his computer with him. So Ibo took him to work. It was cute watching the two of them with their knapsacks and computers, walking out to the garage. They came home at lunch and my fellow worked from home the rest of the day. We made a quick trip to ÖoB and got a new shelf for the bathroom renovation. We had another party since farmor was away at a course on the weekend and couldn’t come on Saturday. She arrived here after work with another gift, one of those 80+ piece colouring sets that closes into a little carrying case. LL loved that since there were crayons, markers, paint etc. Alexandra and Rikard arrived shortly after and we had dinner. This time I baked salmon and we had potatoes, salad, corn, peas and mixed veggies (as in fresh zucchini, eggplant, red onion and mushrooms sauteed in butter). After dinner we had the rest of the cake, cupcakes
and ice cream. It was a fun evening.

Tuesday we were going to get our new stickers in Solna but I was moving at a snails pace and we missed the 0830 open time. There were lots of people waiting so we passed since we were meeting Jennifer for lunch. We went to Gamla Stan for a bit and then went to Pizza Hut for lunch. It was a really fun time. We headed back home around 1400. The kidlet had in his mind we should go on the Arland Express. He has been asking for months now and yesterday he just decided. He even told the waitress at Pizza Hut he was going home on the airport train. So I decided to let him have his trip on the fast train. It is really expensive, 180 SEK for a 20 minute ride (especially when I have a SL card for the other train home *laugh*). He loved it though and he really does have a passion for trains. So it was worth the money. I made it very very clear though that this was a one time event. *laugh* It certainly wasn’t faster for us, since we had to stop and look at planes once we got to the airport and then wait for a bus home. *smile* When we got back to Valsta I went and picked up a parcel at the post office. Brenda sent me tea! There were two packages of Celestial Seasonings tea, my very favourite English Toffee and Vanilla Hazelnut (I tried it last night and it is wonderful). She also included treats for the dog and cat. The dog treats were “Old Mother Hubbard” and I have had that little song in my head since. *laugh* The kidlet was a bit peeved there was nothing in the parcel for him, so I explained that he gets lots of things, but rarely to the pets gets treats, so he should not be greedy and be happy for them. That settled that and he had to show both of them the treats that came for them. He really is a good kid. When we got back from the centrum, there was another package slip here. After dinner my fellow went off to a meeting and we went and got the package. It was his birthday package from Aunt Maud. There were 10 pairs of socks, 3 Fun Pads, two little notebooks (one Pooh one and one shaped like a duck), a cool pen that has a duck on the top that makes noise when you write, 3 Cailliou fridge magnets, 2 sticker books (Alice in Wonderland and Little Red Riding Hood), a stamp pad and stamps, Canadian flag mousepad, stuffed bear with “I love Canada” on it, a bag of candy with Hershey kisses and sweet tarts with sayings on them, Pez, Edmund the Terrible Raccoon book, a plastic table cloth with fire engines on it and a “5″ candle (yes, we think alike *laugh*). There was also pictures from home of my grandparents and the little cousins, Skittles for my fellow, sugarfree Jello for me and more Celestial Seasonings tea! She sent Bengal Spice and English Toffee, so I will be in tea heaven for months. *smile* We watched the show with last evening. She looked terrific and it was fun to see someone we knew on tv.

I have not even gotten out of my nightgown yet this morning. I am exhausted and sore and am taking it easy for the day. I just ran a bath for the kidlet and that is about all I have done so far. Ibo took the SL card today since he may go in to the city to some IT/computer fair thing that is going on, so I am using that as an excuse to do nothing. *laugh*

Last night I baked chocolate cupcakes and iced them with chocolate fudge icing and added sprinkles. The guys each had one and said they were good. I resisted until I was packing them to take to preschool and then had to try one. They were very good. *laugh* So when I stepped on the scales this morning, I had lost a kilo (that makes 14 since the end of July). It seems that I don’t show any weight loss for a couple of weeks and then it just drops. I hope the cupcake doesn’t send it right back up. *laugh*

After the kidlet was in bed, I could hear a helicoptor outside. As I was getting ready to take the dog out I could see a light shining at the bathroom window. I told my fellow that there was a search going on for something. So out I went with the dog and at point I was in the search light. There was no “freeze” or shots fired, so I guessed they weren’t looking for a woman with a dog. *grin* Today my fellow sent me the a url to read It seems that 3 armed men robbed the local ICA store (3 minute walk from here) at gunpoint. The police searched for them all night but seemed to have stopped the air search just after 0900 (which is when the kidlet and I saw the helicoptor hovering in the air at Eurostop). It freaked me out a bit to know that it was armed robbers being sought in my little neighbourhood.

My back is much better today, as I was hoping it would be after being so bad yesterday. I took the kidlet to school at 1300, with all the party fixings in a bag. I am going back at 1430 to help get the kids their ice cream and such. We got matching hats, plates and napkins. The kidlet was so excited and so were the other kids. Tova made Dorit hang out the flag as soon as she got to school and she was waiting at the door to say “grattis” to LL when we arrived.

Dinner tomorrow will be easy to get ready, so tonight I will do laundry and mop floors. Then all will be ready for the big day tomorrow. *smile*

We went into Stockholm this morning. I had an appointment with the chiropractor. We stopped at Grays and got a couple cake mixes and icing for the big birthday. We also got my fellow a couple different kinds of root beer and I got some peach tea. We had lunch at a wok place, it was the kidlets choice and the food really is nice. Then we stopped at a used book store and found a bunch of english paperbacks on the 10 SEK racks. I got 5 new books and the kidlet got one too.

Lisa tried some different things today and while my back is feeling (or perhaps it is just wishful thinking) a bit better, I am still in way more pain than I like. I have decided to give it another week and then I will cave in and go to see a doctor here. Lisa said perhaps it is that the weight loss has changed my centre of gravity somewhat, I tend to think that this is a cyclical thing and it will just take 6 weeks or so for my body to work through all the things it needs to, to get back to normal after my silly move of lifting incorrectly.

I felt really terrible this afternoon when we got on the bus home from the train station. A woman was getting on with a huge baby carriage and she asked me to help her. I said sorry I can’t and she was rather put out about it. She came into the bus and yelled for someone to help. The kidlet was surprised I said no and quizzed me about it, since I normally bounce up to help. As bad as I felt, I also was thinking that for the year or so that I had LL in the stroller here, I often had to get him in and out by myself and I would never have gotten on the bus and yelled like that.

We stopped at ÖoB in hopes of finding some party hats for school tomorrow, but we were out of luck. I will go to ICA later and look but at that point I had been out for 6 hours and I knew I had to get home and relax some.

My fellow did have a meeting last night but will be home tonight. I was reading that after the mailed in votes were counted, our kommun went from nej (it was a slight lead, I think I read in the newspaper that there were 64 more no votes than yes votes) to being a ja kommun (also a small lead of 100 or so more yes votes). This having the final vote count 3 days after the actual voting day is also strange to me. I would think it would be better to have all the mailed in votes by a certain date, before the actual vote, so that at the end of that day, whatever the result is, is final. I also discovered that I had read it wrong and it was over 75% voter turnout here, not less than 35% (goodness knows how I got that number *laugh*). The slim margin really points out why it is so important for every person to exercise their right to vote, it really can make a difference.

The kidlet is getting mega excited about his upcoming birthday. He told everyone who looked in his direction today that he will five in two more days. *laugh*

It seems my life is spent doing laundry. *laugh* I did our clothes and bedding yesterday and it really did in my back. So today I am doing all the mats and the blankets. A sucker for punishment I guess. *smile* I need to get the cleaning caught up since we are having a party here on Saturday and things have gotten behind since I can’t do too much with stopping to rest my back.

The kidlet is sporting a nice big bruise from his fall Monday evening. Not only does he have a midnight blue bruise on the outside, but inside his cheek is yellow. He says it no longer hurts and I guess it doesn’t since there was no complaining about tooth brushing last night or this morning.

I made a nice lasagna for dinner last night and was sad about not eating it. *laugh* I made myself a taco salad without the taco shell and that was almost as good. My fellow went off to a meeting and we watched Winnie the Pooh again. I really did try to find time to just sit and read, but there wasn’t any. *laugh*

Today my fellow is out of town at an all day meeting (politics). He is going to go after the meeting and pick up the train set at Biltema. I suggested he get a battery recharger and rechargable batteries as well, since we already got the kidlet the battery operated remote control train. I think this will be a really fun birthday for Llywellyn. After I dropped the kidlet off at school I went and picked up our registered letter at the post office. We now have new Canadian passports. Since school is closed next Monday and Tuesday, we will make the trip to Solna on Monday and get our new PUT’s attached in the new passports. I think we will hand in our applications there as well, for swedish citizenship. Then everything is done except the wait.

Hopefully my fellow will not have any meeting tonight and we can spend the evening together. We always have time after the meetings for a cup of tea and some time together, but the kidlet is in bed by then and he really misses his dad when he has to go back out after dinner and a half hour or so of playtime.

Deborah asked me these 5 questions. *smile*

1. What was your biggest regret about moving halfway around the world?

That I am missing you all growing up. I want so much to be there for graduations, birthdays, holidays, all the times I used to be able to enjoy with family.

2. As a child, what did you long for the most?

I wanted to be married and have 12 kids. Really. I even have the drawings still of the house I designed when I was about 10. It was set up to accommodate 12 children and lots of thought went into bathroom sharing, play areas etc. *laugh*

3. If you could be anyone, who would you be and why?

Dorothy Hodgkin. I have always been fascinated by science and she led an interesting and productive life. Her research was valuable and she managed to combine her love of chemistry with raising a family.

4. Where do you feel most comfortable and why?

At home. I am a homebody and am at my best in my own surroundings where I am safe and content. *smile*

5. *thinks* What is your biggest dream now?

To be healthy and energetic enough to be a fun mom to LL and be here to see his kids, if he ever becomes a dad.

Thanks for the questions honey, this was fun. *smile*

One of the kids at LL’s preschool has chicken pox. He was at school on Friday and broke out in spots on the weekend, so I guess they were all exposed. Will be interesting to see if any of the rest get it over the next 3 weeks. So here I am worrying about my little guy and chicken pox. We went out to wait for the glassbil and of course he had to take his sparkcykel. He was bopping about on it as we were waiting and then two young boys (about 8 or 9) came by and were looking at something on the ground. Of course LL had to look too, but he forgot he was on the sparkcykel and tipped over. He split his lip on the left side at the corner. It was bleeding and the other two boys were so worried about the blood that they were hovering over him as I approached. It began to swell up immediately and it was hard to see if any teeth were involved, but I managed to get a look and his teeth were fine. We came home and got him an ice pack and went back in time to get his ice cream as well. The fellow from the glassbil is really nice and he told LL that the ice cream would help his mouth feel better.

The swelling is down a bit now and he did have an ice cream bar. He wanted more, just to make the swelling go down of course, *laugh* but since he is lactose intolerant and had 2 today, I said no. I felt bad but he doesn’t need an upset tummy as well as a fat lip.

I spent a couple hours in bed this morning. My poor old back was on a roll and started spasming as soon as my feet hit the floor this morning. The time laying flat and reading really did help and it is just now starting to complain to me again. This afternoon I broke a fingernail. Since they are such a new and novel treat for me, it was very devastating. *laugh* I wanted to try superglueing it since it only broke halfway across. My fellow laughed at me when I said that though.

He is off to a meeting and the kidlet is watching a Winnie the Pooh movie at the moment. I need to clear the supper dishes and then will get back to my book for a bit. *smile*

As with many of my friends over here, today I voted for the very first time in Sweden. Since voting was a big thing in my family and being politically aware was very important, I have never missed voting in any election since my 18th birthday … except the one here last September and that was only because I hadn’t been in the country for the mandatory 3 years.

So we went this morning before I went to work and cast our votes in the EMU referendum. There were not so many people there voting and I thought perhaps it was because they had pre-voted. But tonight on the referendum coverage they had a list of the 10 worst kommuns for voter turnout and ours headed the list. So it seems that about 35% of those who could vote here, actually did. That is just too sad. I still don’t quite understand the voting here. You get your voter registration card in the mail, just like in Canada but there is no pre vote enumeration because the tax rolls, which are kept well up to date, are used. You can vote before the actual day of the voting by going to one of the “post rösta” places and your vote is mailed in. Having the vote on a Sunday also seemed rather odd to me. But regardless, I got to cast my vote!

Yesterday my fellows parents came over. His dad helped him get things back up on the walls in the bathroom and his mom and I went grocery shopping. It was a nice day, more summer than fall. We got pizza for dinner and that was a nice treat. I did the vaccuming and stuff before they got here and the dishes after they left. In between we just relaxed. *smile*

Today after voting, the kidlet and I went in to work. It was a quick trip because I avoided Central Station by doing the Karlberg/St Eriksplan route instead. We stopped at Brommaplan and got lunch to take with us. On the trip back from work we had an elderly woman sit next to us on the subway. She asked me what times the polls closed and I told her 2000, but she was worried maybe I wasn’t from Stockholm and asked where I was from, in case it was some odd spot with special hours I guess. *laugh* Then she told a 15 minute long story about voting in the last election and some kids who came with their parents to the polling station and were jumping around because they didn’t want to be there. I could not for the life of me figure out the point of her story until she said that the kids parents said they were going to “rösta” (vote) and the kids thought they said they were going to “Rusta” (a store). That I thought was funny. *laugh* I was thinking after that it really says a lot about how my swedish has progressed that I could have a conversation with her and get the play on words joke. A year ago I would not have been able to distinguish between the two words at all. Go me! *laugh*

A friend of my fellow’s had his picture in the paper on Saturday. He sent the kidlet out to the kitchen and said “tell your mom that is rubbzy” (his ancient IRC nickname). LL got as far as where I was standing at the sink, then handed me the paper and said “here is pappas friend …..” and he fled. He could not understand how anyone could have such an odd name. *laugh* So I explained to him it was not a real name, just one that we made up, like the funny names I call him sometimes. It took a bit before he finally grasped the concept and then he finally showed me which one was pappa’s friend. He still did not use the nickname, rather he pointed and said his real name. *laugh* (I had already looked and recognized him but it was fun having the kidlet search the picture trying to pick him out again *grin*)

Last night I was out with Susan about 2300. I saw a bunch of kids hanging out behind the preschool. I don’t actually go past it, but even through the woods I could see there were a dozen or so of them and they were screaming and running about. I came home and had only been in the apartment about 5 minutes when the alarm went off over there. I looked out the window and the place was deserted. *laugh* That alarm sure scared them off. They must have forced one of the doors open because when I walked by there today, none of the windows were broken out (a not rare weekend pastime for our well raised teens). They did however rip a metal garbage container apart and pieces of it are strewn about the play area. It makes me angry that the teens have so little respect for property and that their parents have not raised them with better values. Ten years ago when they were in preschool I know they did not have to look out windows covered with graffiti, like my son does now. In fact 3 years ago when I came here, graffiti was really rare to see. Now it is pretty much a nightly routine for the kids to get out there with their spray paint and deface property. This is a nice little town but it is beginning to look like a ghetto from the vandalism. I wish that this “kids will get into mischief” attitude would change, they are not getting into mischief they are causing damage to private and public property and repairs cost everyone, through taxes and insurance premiums.

Well enough ranting. The pets are fed and the dog has been out, so I am going to bed. *smile*

After a good cry and a nice sleep, I am Kitty again. *laugh*

It has been a busy kind of week, but not crazy. I did see the chiropractor last Friday. First the kidlet and I went for lunch at a chinese restaurant. It was really good. Then we checked out a used book store and it was time to go to Lisa’s new office. It is in an old building with a cool old elevator. Normally I avoid them and do stairs, but she is on the 3rd floor and I was having a hard time with steps, so the kidlet got the fun of using the elevator. She adjusted me and I felt better. She gave me back a book she had borrowed and we had a great visit. Since I only really see her the once or twice a year my back goes out, we always have things to catch up on. *smile* So I left there feeling good.

We went back to the platform at Odenplan and just missed a train. When the next one came we got caught up in a crowd and swept onto the train. There were people in front and people behind and I couldn’t move either way. As the train started, I fell and wrenched my poor old back quite badly. At least people shifted a bit so I had a place to hold on. *laugh*

Over the weekend we did some work in the bathroom, put up the new shower and shower curtain etc. It is looking good in there and it is so nice to be able to shower again. I went in to work as well. It went well. My boss popped in for a couple of minutes to pick something up. LL came out and introduced to her his latest imaginary friend. *laugh*

The actual week went quickly. I fell again, walking across my floor (if my mom had been here she would have said “Jane!” *laugh* since my Aunt Jane was also very clumsy). So all the work Lisa did was undone by Monday. Since I didn’t want the kidlet to miss more school, I could only see her again Thursday, when there was an opening early enough in the morning. Tova started preschool and the kidlet was thrilled. He spent the weekend before reading imaginary letters to her “Dear Tova, I like you, at school we can blah blah blah”, it was too funny.

I slowly worked away at the mess here and did the phone calling for a party for the kidlet’s birthday. Invited family and we will have a crayfish dinner and cake. I will do the kid party next year, when we have a house and more space. In lieu of, I will be making chocolate cupcakes and taking them and ice cream to preschool next Friday and there will be a little party there. The teacher was excited about it, she said he is the first birthday of the school year and apparently it is not unusual to do this.

We got our passport applications signed by the mayor and took them in to the Canadian embassy. The consul was impressed with how prepared I was and that I had everything necessary plus more. *laugh* She also said how unusual it is to see someone with the mayor as a guarantor, most people do not know the mayor. I said that is the benefit of living with a politician, you get to know the mayor. *grin* They are all so nice and friendly at the embassy. The kidlet was excited to see all the “Canada flags” but he was even more excited to see a painting on the wall with a Toronto streetcar in it. He notices streetcars since we took the one in Stockholm and there is a picture of a Toronto one in the Robert Munsch story “Jonathon goes to City Hall”, one of his favourite bedtime stories.

We met Heather at Central Station before her tv show taping. It was so much fun to meet Heather after corresponding by email and talking on the phone over the past couple of years. It was also fun to hear her Buffalo accent, it was like being at home again. *smile* The pictures in her journal do not do her justice, she looks fabulous! We had a quick lunch there. The kidlet was a bit jealous that I got to meet a friend, so he informed us that he was meeting a friend as well. Then he got out of his chair, hugged his imaginary friend and said “it is so nice to meet you”, in total imitation of my greeting to Heather. *laugh* He is obviously swedish because his imaginary was not a Bill or a Jim, it was Lasse. *grin*

The highlight of the week was a slip from the post office saying there was a parcel waiting. There were actually two, one for me and one for the kidlet. He who has been saying for months that he has to take his imaginary slip to the post office for his imaginary parcel, actually got one with his name on it. So we headed to the post office after school and he got to hand in his slip and get his package with his name in the most lovely calligraphy. He kept running his fingers over the letters and saying “see, it says Llywellyn!”. Our packages were from the lovely Meaghan. Mine had shampoo and conditioner, my one luxury item from home that I can’t find a replacement for here. The kidlet’s had a card in it so I figured it was a birthday gift, but how could I make him wait? So he opened it and inside were 10 of the cutest little finger puppets I have ever seen, a beanie ladybug (his preschool is called nyckelpigan which means ladybug), stickers, a cute birthday card and Skittles. He loved them all. We put them all away again until his birthday (except for one package of skittles that he shared with his dad as per the suggestion on the card *laugh*). I said on his birthday we will take a picture with all the puppets and send it off to Meaghan. He has been doing a picture to send her as well. Thank you Meaghan, that was so very sweet of you.

Yesterday I was back in the city for another appointment with Lisa. It was a bit more sombre visit since we were talking about the death of Anna Lindh. We did take her some flowers for her birthday (the kidlet picked them out, an orange carnation and a big yellow daisylike flower). She sent me home with a book she used when she moved here called “Medicinska Texter” an SAS book that covers medical terminology in swedish. Between it and my Bonniers book, I am going to be able to say nurse things in swedish really soon. *grin* Last visit the kidlet got stickers, this time he got a Tigger pen. I love that she always has a little something for the kids who come along with their parents.

We had been looking forward to a little gårdfest on Wednesday. It was to be a family thing with activities for the kids and a chance to hear about the EMU vote from the local politicians. But of course it was cancelled as were all campaigning activities after the stabbing of Anna Lindh. The kidlet had been really looking forward to going to a “meeting” with his dad, since Ibo is usually out 3 or so nights a week to political meetings. We did go over, saw pappa, said hello to the people we know who are in local politics here. LL got a tour of the building he has been wanting to go inside for ever so long and one of the woman said he just had to have ice cream, so he got that as well. We left pappa there and came home. The kidlet could not understand why we wanted to watch news all evening instead of cartoons. *smile*

There was a little “kid” incident at preschool yesterday. When I got there to pick up LL, his teacher was dusting sand off of one of the other boys and was a bit upset because there had been a sand throwing fight between two of the boys (not mine, he is so not aggresive *laugh*). When we got home I asked LL what happened and he told me, then he said that Dorit had asked them what happened but he didn’t see it. So I asked where was Dorit when it happened and he said she was inside. I have been there before when the kids were out and she was in, but it has always been when other parents were there, so I was not too concerned. But in light of the incident that ocurred here in Sweden yesterday, a 5 years old girl was grabbed at her preschool and stabbed to death, I find it worrisome to hear that she is not outside with those kids all the time. This is what I mean about the “innocence” here. The ingrained belief that kids are safe and Sweden is safe. I remember still very vividly that the same teacher last term said I was an “over protective” mother. Today I will question her about this and voice my opinion on leaving children unattended outside.

I am overprotective, because I lived somewhere else and learned that violence can and does occur in the most mundane places and times. I will never ever be able to send my son off to school each day without fretting, thanks to Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka. They abducted Kristen French from a busy street, in broad daylight, as she walked home from school. I know now that no one is ever safe anywhere. I remember the suspicion and fear, how everyone looked at their friends and neighbours and wondered if they were the killers. How my coworkers took to calling home every day to make sure there kids got home. How the hospital offered employee discounts on cell phones for us and our families, so we could keep in touch with the kids. Those memories have not faded at all through time. Every time I hear about a missing kid, I see Kristen’s face in my head and I did not even know her, just worked in the same city. I hate that it is changing here. Canada is not a very violent place at all, but I thought Sweden was even less violent. What I have been realizing over the past year is that no matter where you live, there are sick violent people and you have to be on guard at all times, while trying to live a happy life. It is a tightrope walk and I hope that we will be able to provide for LL the childhood of innocent fun and lack of fear that we had when we grew up. Enough of that ranting, I am going to paint pictures with my son. *smile*

I am in a foul mood today. It has been an emotional day, I am still in pain after falling twice post chiropractor visit. So I picked up LL from school and as usual he and David headed straight for the play area outside our apartment. They are 4 year old boys, they are loud. They usually drop their spark cykel and slide down the slide a couple time, yelling of course. Then back to the sparkcykels and they make a couple trips around the building that fronts the play area. Yesterday the woman who lives with her balcony facing the play area came out and glared from the balcony, then came out with her baby (who is about a year old) and collected the two toys out there that were the baby’s. She just looked nasty but didn’t say anything. A couple of the other neighbours were about as well and of course LL had a chat with them as he always does.

Today the boys did the slide thing once, then did a trip around the building. They were just back to the slide when the man from the forementioned apartment came out with his dog and asked if that was my son playing there. I said yes and he informed me that I would have to keep him quiet because they had a baby sleeping on the balcony. I just stood there stunned and he walked off. David’s mom called him and I called LL and we said time to come home. LL wanted to show me some trick and I said no, causing him to burst into tears. At that point I did too and then he was more upset because I was. It was a really sucky moment. I told him about the sleeping baby and asked if he could show me without yelling and he said sure and showed me how he can brake at the bottom of a hill. I cried the whole time. I came home and told my fellow what happened and he gave me a rude response to use if it should happen again. But again, my feeling of security has been undermined. I thought in Sweden kids were supposed to be kids and the play areas provided were supposed to be for them to have fun, even if it is noisy fun. Obviously I was wrong, the lesson here is that kids only count when they are babies or not immigrants. Today I want to go home.

There is a weeks worth of journalling to be done but it will have to wait a bit.

This morning Anna Lindh died, 13 hours after being knifed in a large store in Central Stockholm. While I am not politically active or well informed, I knew her from news reports and all her campaigning for the EMU vote. To be honest, I thought she was the finance minister, since she was so visible and vocal about why we need to vote yes. But of course she was the minister of foreign affairs.

She was young, energetic, dedicated, fun loving, hard working. She had a husband and two young children. She should have lived a long long life and had her shot at being prime minister of the country. Instead, in a senseless, vicious attack that took place in the blink of an eye, she lost her life, her family have lost her and Sweden has lost a well loved and respected political presence.

She was my age, doing something I do all the time and she was a victim. The feeling of security is gone. I read somewhere that this attack has precipitated a “loss of innocence” for Sweden and I think in a sense that is true. Even though the amount of violence has been escalating here, there seems to be a deeply ingrained sense of “we are safe”. I know my fellow has said more than once that it is ok to let the kidlet go out and play by himself, or that he can go to school on his own. That is the way many people here think, because they have always been safe in their country. But the world is changing. I have always said that Sweden now is what Canada was 20 years ago. The face of the country is changing as it becomes more global but the people here still feel it is the little insular nation it always was. The murder of Olof Palme in 1986 is still talked about here, but in the sense that it was something horrible but could not happen again. But it could and it has. I don’t know if this murder was a random attack by a thief or was a planned attacked by someone with a political agenda of their own. Either way, it has gnawed away at the safe ground under our feet and made me and many many others here, feel that the world is a scarier place today.