Kitty’s Place

So this morning I wrote a long post about depression. Then I took the dog out. While we were walking I noticed some gum someone had spit out on the ground and it reminded me of when Susan was a puppy. She was crazy about chewing gum and could spy it from several feet away. We would be walking her and look down and see her chewing happily. When she saw us looking she would stop chewing and look all innocent because she knew we would confiscate the gum. I was literally chuckling the entire walk home with her. *laugh*

I have been feeling really low lately. This is a totally normal cycle for me, depression has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. I have done the anti depressent meds, natural herbs, exercise, meditation, a whole slew of things but nothing helps as much as a positive outlook and just willing myself to keep on truckin along.

This low spell has been hanging on though and I am busy analyzing why. Part is homesickness after such a wonderful visit in Canada, part is grieving the loss of my grandfather and a big part is school. I am just feeling frustrated that I am studying math, science etc. when I have already done this once in my life. Last Thursday our math class was about how to add together two fraction with different denominators. I looked at the problem on the board, said the answer in my head immediately and then wondered “what am doing here???”. I keep telling myself the positive. It is a great review! I am learning the math words in swedish! I will be able to help LL with his homework later on! The same for science. We learned about Photosynthesis this week. Half of the class was talking about the process and the chemical formula, that was interesting. The other 75 minutes was painting a picture of what photosynthesis is. I understand the concept that painting it (or building a model of a cell using a milk carton, something they did the week I was ill) makes it stick in your head more but I felt like I was 5 years old again. I focused on the fact I got to paint, something crafty since I never have time for crafting these days.

Last night I dreamed about work. I dreamed about Tom, Janice, Ellie, Les and I woke up in tears. We had so much fun back then and we worked so well together. In a crisis we all just fell into our roles and we all knew who did what best and left that to them. And we laughed so much, at the silliest things. One of the doctor’s used to come up and have his break with us in the middle of the night, because we had so much fun together. Now only Les and I are left. Tom died from aids, Ellie died from cancer, Janice died last year and our doctor friend was murdered outside a gay after hours club in Toronto. I think about working here and I know that I will never have that kind of workplace relationship again. Beside the language/culture thing, those kinds of relationships are built when you are young, not when you are 50 and entering the workforce.

I know this will all seem silly in a few weeks when I am feeling better and not thinking in such a dismal way, but for the moment I just need to put it all down and get it out of my system.

Yay! *laugh* The party yesterday went well. LL was so excited about it he was up watching tv early in the morning. I got up before 0800 and he was already saying “I just can’t wait till 2 o’clock!”. At 1300 he asked if we could phone and say people should come at 1330 instead of 1400. *laugh* Luckily one of the kids arrived early so he had someone to show about and play with the final half hour, before the big party. So we had the birthday boy and 12 guests (one boy’s older brother came along) ranging from 5 - 9 years in age. They all had lots of fun. A couple of times things got a bit crazy but on the whole they were all well behaved. LL’s aunt and her cousin were to do the games but the time when the games should have been played, they were eating and the opportunity came and went. *laugh* So the 2 hours was filled with playing, opening gifts, eating and a fish pond. I was really proud of LL. The extra guest meant we were short one loot bag and he was quick to say sure when I asked if we could give the one made for him to his classmates brother. The party was between 1400 and 1600, we had people here from 1330 till 1700 and LL enjoyed every minute. He got lots of nice gifts, walkie talkies being the star of them all. *laugh*

Today he was a birthday party guest. We went this morning and picked up a gift and some groceries. Went for a cappuccino and then came home, wrapped gift, did homework and off he went to the party. He had lots of fun and came home with a bag of candy, so that made up for yesterday. The other mom was commenting on the fact that last year when we had our boys’ parties (also consecutive days) it was as beautiful as it has been this weekend. I hadn’t thought of it but she was right, it must be just the right time of fall to get sun and warm before the rainy weather descends.

We are off tomorrow, the kidlet school has a PD day. We have no plans except to go and get some stamps.

Time really does fly. *laugh*

Last Sunday we had a family birthday party here for the kidlet. There were 8 of us and we had tacos and then cake and ice cream. LL chose what would be on the menu. It was fun but I still felt like a limp rag so I was not much of a hostess I am sure. We gave the kidlet binoculars and a bird book as well as a Tantrix Discovery Puzzle. He got Magnetix from his grandparents and also two cars, a little pocket racer and a bigger racing car. He got the cutest plant holder that looks like a dog with a little plant of his own that he is thrilled with, from his aunt. J & E gave him two different Combined Toy kits, so he can build a fork lift and motorcycle (I think). The kidlet loved everything and has tried them all.

Monday I went back to school and I thought I would die, but sadly I didn’t. *laugh* I had math and there was no book for me, so I got to photocopy the homework from a classmate.

Tuesday was LL’s actual birthday. In the morning he opened another gift from us, a Dinosaur nest. He has been working away it all week. We had ice cream cake in the evening and LL got to use his bus card for the first time.

The rest of the week has been a blur, school, bus, homework, lingering sinus issues and asthma. *laugh* We did the kidlet a new backpack since his old one was a bit too narrow for the book he carries back and forth with his homework.

Today I am having a study from home day, since the teachers have a PD day. I have done some of my reading and after I am done with this entry I will do some housework and then go back to studying. Tomorrow is the BIG PARTY, the one where all the kidlets classmates will be congregating here to run about, play with toys, play games, eat and yell. *laugh*

Actually I am on the mend here but now that the fever and the sinus symptoms have disappeared I have this cough that just won’t quit. I sound like someone with a multipack a day cigarette habit. Of course it will pass too, but I hate coughing (and sneezing). It is so undignified. *laugh*

It was a long week but thankfully it is near the end. Thursday LL had an appointment at the dentist’s. I knew he had a cavity, I could see when I helped with his tooth brushing that there was a spot that looked a bit dark. So it was not a surprise to hear the hygienist say so, but it was a surprise to hear her say he had two. Both are in his baby teeth but they are ones he won’t lose for another 3 or so years, so they need filling.

She was really very condescending, told me that he should not be drinking so much saft during the day and looking at me in disbelief when I said he drinks water only during the day. She asked him if he ate lots of candy and of course he said yes, so she told me I am to stop giving him candy every day. Umm, there was no mention of every day in that question and answer and I said that he does not eat candy every day. Then she said he has to brush his teeth regularly. Well he brushes morning and night, I think that is fairly regular. I said we have a family history of bad teeth, prone to cavities, which is why in Canada we went to the dentist twice a year from the time I was LL’s age. She said that I should give him extra fluoride, to which I asked in amazement “Sweden doesn’t fluoridate it’s water????”, knowing full well I would get the standard drone answer about over medicating (the same one I got every time it was time for vaccinations even though he only had one more shot than is standard here in Sweden and his vaccination schedule in Canada was per WHO recommendations).

So the hygienist said that I should get him extra fluoride in pill form and he should take it every meal time and bedtime. No candy except for the standard Saturday binge candy thing, which is already a pet peeve of mine (Saturday is candy day and kids go to the store and buy a whole bag, then gorge on it because it has to be eaten on Saturday), water only during the day, brush more often and he must wait at least 3 hours between eating … not between meals and snacks, if he eats an apple, he isn’t supposed to eat anything again for at least 3 hours. I just smiled and nodded and left, thinking to myself it is time to find a private dentist, with staff who don’t look at me and think “immigrant” and then condescend. One thing I was concerned about though, was that he has a spot on one of his permanent teeth that looks like it is weak and could become a cavity. It is between two teeth where the wire from his palate plate sits and I am worried it is that that is causing it. So in two weeks when we see a real dentist to get his tooth filled, I am to take it with so the dentist can see if there is a potential problem with it.

Well I went and got a bottle of fluoride pills. Brought it home and read the whole info sheet. It is not recommended that kids under 8 use them and then only once or twice a day. Apparently too much fluoride leads to deposits that discolour and the child will spend the rest of their life with dark yellow and black spots dotting their teeth (that is worse case scenario). So they will stay in the bottle until I talk to the dentist. I am thinking this should be a bedtime thing only if I go ahead and try it with him. I hope this dentist is nice, we haven’t had much luck in finding a nice on so far.

Hmm, swimming lessons. He started again this week on Tuesday. There are two new instructors. One of them did a roll call and when she got to LL’s name she pronounced it like Evelyn but with an l at the beginning, so it was Levelin. I said “Lou-ellen” and pointed at LL, she looked up from her clipboard, glared at me and called the name again. So again I said it properly and this time she looked up and gave me this long angry stare, marked that Levilin was not there and continued on. Finally she had identified all the kids except LL so she asked him his name and he told her. She looked at me and I said it once again. A fluourescent light turned on in her head and she immediately apologized. I know that she was thinking that it was a girls name and was aggravated at me for interrupting her. Poor LL who has such a non swedish name. I wish his father would have said something about how unusual it would be here when we were naming him, but then again, back then I never thought we would be moving here. *laugh*

Yesterday we had opening ceremonies for our new sports facility here. It has soccer field, football field, track, viewing stand, BMX track, a new hall for gymnastics, inne bandy and other indoor sports. It is really an impressive facility, was completed in under a year and best for us, it is a 5 minute walk from home. My fellow was there from 1000, I imagine he was manning the party table in the new hall. We joined him there about noon and walked around inside looking at all the tables different companies, organizations and of course political parties, had in place. LL got a nice water bottle from one company, a pin and flag from the nature conservation group (he had to answer questions in a contest and got 3 out of 4 right, so the nature school curriculum is teaching him something), stamps from the swedish young peoples stamp club, bottled water from centerpartiet and various other goodies. One thing that fascinated him was a beehive behind glass where he could see the bees working, the comb with empty cells and partially filled cells. After a walk around we went home again and I was beyond exhausted. But we had decided to go back to see Mora Trask, a group that sings kids songs. It was a lovely day, but a bit on the cool side. We stood in front of the bandstand listening and watching while they did songs like the Hokey Pokey and Do your Ears Hang Low (in swedish) and a variety of swedish kids songs. I loved when they said “are you ready to rock?” and then sang the swedish Baa baa black sheep. *laugh* While we there, one of LL’s friends appeared with his mom. So the boys played and played and played more, including one of LL’s female classmates who was also there, in the fun. They did gymnastics, push ups, racing and bounced. I wanted desperately to go and get my groceries so I could go home, but the kidlet was having such fun and of course we had to wait until 1530 when the official ceremony took place and a few hundred yellow and blue balloons were to be released. After the very short speeches and the releasing of the balloons, we waited a few minutes and then Amy Diamond sang. I had no idea who she was, never heard of her before and was surprised when this tiny little girl got up and started belting out songs in english. The crowd was wild for her songs so obviously she is well known to teenagers. *laugh*

We finally headed out after that but of course stopped many times for my fellow to talk to people he knew. After grocery shopping we got pizza and came home where I wanted to crawl into bed but instead did dishes, unpacked groceries, stripped beds and ironed clothes. Today we are having a family birthday party for LL, who just informed me that we have to clean up before our guests come and when I said “ok, lets start with putting away your legos” he decided we could wait a bit. *laugh* So I am off to bake a cake before my laundry time at 1100.

One highlight of yesterday was when we went to the store and Llywellyn bought his very first bus card. I gave him the money and stood to the side while he asked for a bus card, confirmed he wanted a youth card and that it was to start Sept 20th. He declined the red plastic holder, explaining we had bought a special one already. People behind him were grinning at his transaction. *laugh* So my little boy will be seven in just two days and his dream of having his very own bus card is now a reality.

For some reason that is the one line, uttered by Mia Farrow, that comes into my head whenever I remember the first primetime soap I ever watched, Peyton Place. Rodney was portrayed by Ryan O’Neal and I thought about this last night when I was curled up under a blanket on the couch watching Desperate Housewives.

When I saw Ryan O’Neal I had this flood of memories appear. When I was a kid I used to stay up to watch Peyton Place with my mom. No idea why my parents thought this was ok, but they did. *laugh* I was crazy about Ryan O’Neal at that time. It was 1967 and there was a world fair in Montreal called Expo 67. My dad wanted to go so he took a week off work and was going to drive to Montreal and bunk in at his younger brother’s home. It was not feasible for all of us to go so dad was making the trip solo. I wanted badly to go but I knew that it was not going to happen. My dad packed up the car and then sat down and watched Peyton Place before he set out. When the show was over my mom said to him “I think you should take Kitty Sue” and he looked at me and said “Ok” and I was transported to a place close to heaven I was so thrilled. Now that I am a parent I am sure they must have discussed this a number of times when we were not around but then I just knew that my mom had wrought a miracle. It took no time to pack a little suitcase for me and we were off. So to this day the memory of Expo 67 is intertwined with the memory of Peyton Place and Ryan O’Neal.

I am still home from school, talked to a classmate today, she phoned to see how I was. One of the nice things about folkhögskolan is that people really worry about each other and do check up. I had to pick up LL from school and will have to take him to his first swimming lesson for this term. I would rather be in bed but my fellow has meetings from the time he leaves work until late, so mom is on the go again. My only consolation is that I can curl up in a nightgown with a hot tea as soon as we get home from the pool. *laugh*

Funny incident occured at LL’s fritids place last week. I arrived early on Friday, since we finished early at school. All the kids were in the cafeteria having their afternoon snack. Various parents wandered in while I was sitting near the entrance and all of them looked in the usual rooms and then asked me if the kids were in the cafeteria. So when a pleasant looking older gentleman came in and looked in the first of the classrooms I said in swedish that all the kids were in the cafeteria. He looked down to where the room is and held up 5 fingers and I said yes, they should be done in that time. Just then one of the fritids teachers came up the hall and said to the man in english “she is just having her snack, she will be done soon”. He thanked her and headed back in my direction where I said to him laughing, in english “here I was speaking to you in my horrid swedish and you are an english speaker”. Turns out he was the grandfather of one of the kids, visiting from England. We had a nice chat and then we saw his granddaughter coming down the hall and we both exclaimed her name at the same time. *laugh* She is the sweetest little girl, goes to english class with LL and always makes a point of stopping and talking english with me when I pick up LL. I don’t know why I didn’t make the connection right away, she is very much like her grandfather. *laugh*

I was very impressed when he was telling me that since they are retired, he and his wife come over 5 times a year for a couple weeks to spend time with his grandchildren and their parents. The parents are british and are here teaching at an international school (SSHL, the one the king went to *laugh*). They go to the grandparents at least once a year as well. I think that is so nice for the kids, to have so much contact with their grandparents, even though they live in another country.

I am home from school today with a fever, stuffed up head, various aches and pains and a general overall feeling of yuck. *laugh*

My fellow is still sick but he is not a wimp like me and has gone to work. The kidlet is fine and dandy.

Saturday I went in to Stockholm for a couple hours and went to stop number one on the LIS/kanska pub crawl. It was fun to see everyone who made it to the first stop. The trip home was a pain, train troubles meant it took well over an hour to get home, a trip that usually is 35 to 40 minutes.

Sunday I took LL to a carnival where he went on rides and won some stuffed animals. Then I took him to the movie theatre to see Madagaskar. I was feeling like a wrung out sheet, had been feverish since the night before, but I was the healthier of the two of us and it was race weekend, so I got elected. *laugh* Last evening we wrote out all his birthday party invitations. If everyone comes, we will have a dozen 6 and 7 year olds running about here on the 24th.

I did go to the local supermarket this morning after we dropped LL at school. I was looking for a specific game he asked for, but I have not been able to find it. The toy store I went to in Stockholm on Saturday was sold out, since they had been selling it at half price. Other than that I have been staying quiet, had a bit of a nap and will continue in the same vein until I go to retrieve my son from school. *laugh*

I am still among the living. *laugh*

Started school the 29th of August. It was an interesting first week. Monday we had a general assembly and then ate lunch together and had a short class meeting after. The day was geared to meeting each other and learning names and a bit about each other. We are a group of 45 in our course, ranging in age from 16 to 47. 30+ are new this year. It was a fun first day.

Tuesday was more of the same, we met up as a large group in the morning and then after lunch we broke into our smaller groups. Our swedish as a second language group is just 9 students and only 2 are new. So it was very comfortable.

Wednesday we had a school trip. We went to Sala, stopping on the way to fika at Härkeberga church and look at the lovely lime paintings from the 14th century. Then we went on to the Sala silver mine. We went a tour of the mine, down 44 meters underground. I had never been underground before so it was really exciting. We ate lunch at the mine and then we went in to Sala where we had an hour or so to wander about, fika, shop etc. Then we went to the Ivan Augeli museum. The curator talked for 30 minutes about the artist, the paintings on display and the museum itself. Although others had a difficult time understanding him, I had no problem at all, which leads me to believe that yes, my swedish is improving. *laugh* We got home a bit after 1800 and then I went and retrieved Llywellyn from the meeting he had gone to with Ibo.

Thursday was organization day, we got our keycards for the computer labs, got sorted out with our accounts and profiles on the school computer system, met with the course coordinator to sort out what we would study and how long we would be studying and the students who are studying english got sorted into their classes. Since I don’t study english, I will be doing the same as last term, reading swedish books and writing reviews. 3 of my classmates were to join me and we were to have a book circle, but that did not pan out. *laugh*

Friday we met as a large group again in the morning and then we broke into pairs and interviewed each other. We wrote up our interviews and the digital photography teacher took pictures of us all. Interview with picture will be put up on our bulletin board so we can learn more about each other.

So I made it through the first week, was extremely tired but was glad to be back at school. Over the weekend I did laundry, we grocery shopped and we relaxed. Llywellyn is now getting homework so we worked on that through the week and on the weekend. It also became official last week that Ibo is moving from his spot as vice chairman of Utbildnings- och arbetsmarknadsnämnden to vice chairman of Barn- och ungdomsnämnden. What that means to us is that he will have more work in the political area of his life. *laugh*

This week we started with our regular schedule at school. Monday was math, study hall and book circle. But it worked out that my 3 book circle companions have the oportunity to learn grade school english during that period so I will be reading on my own and they will get the basic english they need to be able to start attending the classes at our school. I was really glad for them, it is a great opportunity. Tuesday we had swedish class all day and today we had science. Since we are such a big group, we will be split into two groups on Wednesday, half of us will have science from 0830 - 1130 and then be finished for the day, the others get to sleep in and have class from 1230 - 1530. I am in the morning group, which means LL does not have to stay late at fritids on Wednesdays, something I was fretting over, since I can pick him up by 1500 the other 4 days of the week.

Something in the air is really bothering us. My fellow is stuffed up and having b
ack pain that I attribute to him having to use auxilliary muscles to help his breathing because of allergies. My asthma has flared badly, inhalers 4 times a day are not helping much and I have constant chest pain from working so hard to breath. I am hoping that the big rain we had this evening will help, if not I am going to have to go and get steroids, not my favourite thing at all. *laugh* Our science class went for a walk in the forest this morning and I had to pack it in and go back to school about halfway because of the pollens. My eyes were so itchy I wanted to just remove them. It was fun though, learning the names of trees and flowers in swedish.